total bhakar....on my mind!

life sucks blood.....straw daal k....
it all started with the big-bang, everything consequently contributed and finally one cool november morning, i am born...the place is st. dominic's hospital at the outskirts of this place called XXX.....c u know wat i've been really popular in turkey.....gosh how can they read english....no qualms about you turkey's turkeys as far as you maintain ur hits....so wat m saying was m not going to disclose the location...no please...srry if you are hurt, but i need privacy man!
i don't want my hometown to become a shrine after me, i want to see this place, sipping coffee at saturn's ring, just as it has always been....shimple,, shmall,, sherene.....shuch a nice plashe this is.....wat i m pishing you off....n yeah wat did you...loude..that i'm sick....see...bloody jealous netties..
       whatever....i've lived down 20 years of my precious life here....a place where firangis will die to be at...and here i am dying to get off...get far away....that's pretty much normal, rite?
yeah, you are kinda right, i am actually. cat, snap and all other mba entrance exams wich are as follows...
AAT
BAT
DAT
EAT
FAT
GAT
HAT
.
.
.
.
XAT
YAT
ZAT.
i've given em all...kitna easy tha....ab lagaa k indian students really live a horrible life. but then you'll have to appreciate the resilient attitude of ours that we still dream to ace through each..yeah each of them, such a test of character it is, and a test of economic strength too for a mediocre indian.....m not being insane(as of now)....meri bajj gai is baar form daalte daalte, i earn okayish amount by playing my hand in the EDUCATION SECTOR(:D) but the expenses of applying to colleges skyrocketed....inflation types...
but what the hell can i do...
                                   papa kahte hain badaa naam karega....
but who the hell has said k naam karne k lie class ma first ana bhi zaruri hai.....c'mon i can't handle all those shanke-hands...i know how the rest feel...cursing me they come along, a week after the results..."oh pj...i just heard u topped man! kuch humare lie bhi chhor dey!"
the latter half in desperation....haha...KALE SAMINEY....such are the ones who know my marks to the third decimal place and maybe before even i knew mere kitne hain. so, my matra has changed to 'let others bask in the thing and the fire of several jealous arses!'
i've for the last three years religiously abided by my matra and in the future too i intend to persue the same irrespective of rising temperatures at home.
but then CAT happened, not decided kind of a thing, but i remember myself blurting out 'yar, ma ek company kholna chahta hun'....wtf....kya company,,kaisse....but it was 8 years back. tables had turned, i had been done in, this life had taken up the job of the tormentor(GOD, tentative entity, IS SUCH A BAD HR HEAD!).
such aspirations had been brutally crushed. but how can you forget hercules and pj never accept defeat in the face....those dreams were like pillows, crush em and they bounce right back. hence, they wre still there. wow...dekhi meri imagination...i'm going to derive a song out of it now :D
last year, by of mouth, don't remember whose mouth, got enrolled at ims, agra. from then on, a cute CAT was all i wanted.
day before yesterday cat results poured in among fuore over mr.himanshu rai's statements. i too contributed aap log k ashirvaad se. in the end i got a bit below expectations.....but enough to satisfy my hunger. A, C, R, S, L have dumped me. lots of hopes lie in the awaited ones. will write bhakas again, abhi final ajjaams and pi preps are bothering me....man i can't use arses more than once in a post, against rules....so, astaa lavistaa babyy!! :D
PS: i swear i'll give the template a rejig, its stupid i know....not finding time actually....but i'll soon!



                                

Of maggi and gel-pens!

this one goes before the canteenz era, the era of the child never born.....ok m not being senti...i know u can't tolerate your heartTHROB to be sad....so, for you haan....m continuing....

college routine is irksome, yeah for me too, demi-gods too need jobs man.....
but in school, u grow up thinking, college is definitely sexy, even when your tau's kid or ur anni mama tells you that their school vala time was the best time ever, that how their HODs have tried to burn their arses and how they would like pay him back in kind.....you dont believe him or you dont like to because it gives you a relief that one day, there wud be no homeworks to complete, one great felony of a school-goer.
one day slowly even before it even sinks in, you are pushed into the unforseen lands.

there's no 'uth ja beta,late ho jaega, dekh teri chai rakhi hai table pe, gira mat lio' thing...
rather..
"c'mon rude boy boy can you get it up
take it take it love me love me" chant...........................and soon you start hating it....
guess what, you never hated those hands that came around caressing your head, you used to hold it up and say,'maa, aj school nai jana plz, meri tabiyat thik nai hai' remembering that jacob sir's homework wasn't done yet n she would say, 'aj mai maggi rakhne vali thi tiffin ma,chalo koi baat nai, chorro!!'
it was the time when we could even beat spartans single-handedly for maggi...
things have changed now, rihanna wakes you up, coldplay brushes your teeth, LP gives you the bathish flavour, ofcourse i dont bathe daily now, every thing is such damn cool but you hate it. you go back home, stay there for a day or two but then....
you hate the fact that you'll never be able to wear that uniform in your almerah again(you have outgrown neways),
that your underwear-friends don't come cycling around and hollering at the gate,'sale, make-up kar raha hai kya, teri vali ki bus nikal gai!',
that your 'teri vali' isnt around though you talk to her every.....well never....she's been studying out there somewhere(now she wud be smeone else's 'teriwali', you think),
that your brother doesn't fight with you for stealing his new gel-pen, he gifts a parker this time around but you hate it,
that your australian compass is of no use,
that your dissection box which you fought for so hard with your dad..."nai papa mere ko camel ka hi chahie,mam ne alag se bola tha k usi ka lana hai'....it lies here in your drawer alongwith lots of yesterday's crap, the prism you pilfered from physics lab, the cards she gave you on your b'day(:D), the stupid abridged version of oliver twist you got as a prize, the class cricket team strategy paper(we wre damn good players, i wonder y i coudnt make it to the indian odi team), the wand you got after first potter-mania and shouted around my room, AVEDA KEDAVERA to those spiders and they would still look at you round-eyed as if you was in their room peering from their roof.
you love it,
things just rush to you, fill your empty lungs, you breathe heavily avoiding the mood, you look around, your mother is still there, you cant do it, it can crack-up your mother and show your dad that his son aint a man yet....
you are leaving home again, back to the place you ever wanted to be, the place which sucks, which has new jerks n 'teriwalis'.
you pack that crap in a clean VIMAL bag, tuck it deep in your bags, watch out again, none is around and  then wipe that tear off.
pick up your fone to ring up at 5 but then you know your mother would be faster, drop the idea n switch off the lights wishing that night doesn't end but it will and it does every time, but you still wish!

dard-e-disco

okay, people who have come through catch words, sorry this one's not for you for sure, for the rest, this piece is about a friend of mine.....the song was indeed his ring-tone those days, please dont laugh, this aint sarcastic, there was a time this was too a chartbuster, now that you'd not even remember singing it in your favourite room(boys..nothing to laugh about, every guy has a hppy time:D)....hate to say it but really men do hate their own histories...n ya, this WAS meant to b sarcastic. so, here we go....

i could see her silhoutte against the setting sun, too poised to make the red ball shy and hide somewhere and repent for garroting heat on her that day, too far away to let me tell her how much she intimidated me, not that she was never close, i mean literally.....she used to sit infront of me during semester-end papers....beautiful days they used to be, each of our future engineers would be busy with the 'exam mutual help association' and i used to finish my paper early to get back to looking at her.....it seems as if it was yesterday when i saw her in blue on the first day of my undergrad-life, her parents wre leaving and our lady was standing teary eyed bidding them farewell.....i have come to the right place, i had thought smiling.

.....dil ma mere ha dard-e-disco...dard-e-disco.....

n the srk number blasted out of my almost always silent cell, mamma calling...kya yar maa ko bhi aur koi time nai milta call karne k lie. 
"ya mom'
"beta tumhare papa pooch rahe they k tumhari train kitne baje ki hai vahan se"
"mamma....abhi 6 bhi nai baje, pa kahan se agaye office se aur haan, pa se meri pahle hi baat ho gai thi...ok!" 
i disconnected with mom hurling provisos about strangling strangers in trains as always and as always i could have told her that every starnger was not hell-bent on srangling you son, maa. but this was more important, i needed to talk to her. 
the ringer would have been loud enough, she was peering exactly where i hid behind those stupid rose bushes, stupid because never ever in four years of college had i seen them grow a single reddy. she had seen me, i had to change stance, hiding still, i followed the rusted girder and then shot towards the lone peepal tree in the campus, no prizes for guessing that it being in an engineering college, it was bound to have a supernatural aura. i caught my breath and decided to concentrate on the target again, adjusted my glasses, bent down a little  and turned west.
she was gone...there was nobody except a couple of second year nerds across the lawn discussing some cryptography shit. damn, i said. this was probably the last attempt to talk to her, the first one in four years ofcourse, what wre you expecting, this is no hotshot story. and now she would be gone. being the last day of college, i too had to pack my bags, i'd be off to home, n she to hers.....45/123, lakshamisha road, banglore, courtsey orkut, facebook wasn't that known in those days. 
for four years, she had adorned my desktop and every time she changed her dp, she came about here too in the new avatar.
every morning i had woken up thinking i'd tell her and every time she came around, i could just stare....stare and say nothing.
i came out of the lengthening shadows, it was all over, the sun was pulling back the last of his rays, drowning in the abyss of darkness or maybe i was....

         

chalne ki vajah...

chal raha tha na jane kyu, jab ai vo subah,

aakhiri varsha is jeevan k antyodya ka,

poochta tha kabhi is jahan se k

bayan karo mujhe meri hi haquikat,

aur dikha deta vo ek andher aina, ek bhayanak sa chehra,

andaz toh na jane bhool aye they hum kahin,

pehchaan jee rahi humen bhool kar kahin,

dhoondne chala usi wakt ka na pata tha, na tha hosh.

le ayi kaise raaste par zindagi aaj,

lagta hai k dhundh k us par hai kila koi fatah ka,

par umang k nishan mita chuka hun kabhi k,

nuks nahi agar dikhti nahi manzilen samne,

chalna hi vajah ban gai chalne ki tabhi se....

is saal ki geekry...pahla adhyay!

BACKSPACE....BACKSPACE….ENTER…

fk facebook guys for asphyxing hardwired writers, c'mon man..smetimes even 400 odd words don't count as a status, so note comes down as a recluse. now, y m writing is bcoz m getting bored, nt studying since last sunday mrng wen i had d famous(in ims circles) yellow lexicon in my hand and was being manhandled at dat rajiv-chowk metro...a week is up, hav'nt spotted it again yet. talking about time, well..hw easily this year is passing out, not that it was easy throughout but yeah, i had always needed such a spell...ethically speaking..smething sort of a proper u-turn.

i was in that deep blue sea, tides bided me in, nothing else in sight i thot this was it, bas ma and the sky's next, ok..sought out the felony ne1...well that was it.but...nw this is a big BUTT, k, there's always an atropos wave that pitches you down to the ground(guess what it thinks...ab zara zameen chakh len)..that was way back in jan last year...normality returned....par kuch toh kam tha, ya kahen bojh zyada tha....season's greetings.... 2010 had started...first week i think i called somene...said sorry....foto achhi thi par....redstones! hadn't talked for hell lot f time for no reason infact, n i feel just .....happy to find things in the right shape nw...

NEWBIE PAGAL

mid-jan...i was at vrindavan towers ground-floor...reciting to myself in ANGREZI...what i'd blurt out up there on the 3rd(doesn't seem like it bt i used to b that nervous,nw i hpe u can undo implications of the wrd u-turn)...

up there: i remember the recep took out an A-4 and asked me..so pranjal, why mba....prepared ans..gyaan, lots of it...peeche khade hain centre head saab..he says to the recep....tumhe moses sir bula rae hain,, nw he cmes n sits right infront of me....i thot he meant k nw this guy is a boar, needs tackle, so let me handle it,,,,,smetimes i surprise myself n n that day i probably did, i ws good to my standards then!:) 

three days later, i ws there again....at 5! partnership k saval......

 achha before all that....sme names hve been pretty much cocealed n thers 

saval baye haath ka khel....i gave an ans as bais bate saat(22/7)...there wre sme 10 odd beside me around the teak and everyone was laughing...the move worked...yup..it was meant to b dat way. bansal(gaurav), jeetu,abhinay wre the first buds...time was flowing...class ma maza ata tha par....soon quants nd rcs wore my days off....

smething about two weeks later, had my first gd....GD yar..mere lie kya badi baat hai..debate sa hi toh hai....6 mins later, there wre just pranjal himself and madam dayal bagh almost scrapping each other....the mentor had to cme dwn to say k...bhai ye gd hai,,aise ladne ki nai rakhi hai......nw thats hw ayu(LEO) knew that there was a scorpion in the class,n the scorpion got to know the sword brandishing knight in white..........arrived garg in our team...or maybe i in his,d kamina,but a nice guy par sala class k time b disturb karta tha....n then got to know pal jiski aadhi baaten aadhi class ko hi samjh ati thi, my deepest regards to her for adding MORON(bechara chhor k chala gaya) n GLAMOROUS(abhi bhi shayad doc saab k sapne dekhti hai). Bhagwan unki atma ko shanty dey. 

ADDED FEATHERS

meanwhile, i became a reg on fb....thnx to pa for the liquid(ity) support...till then i just lived a life..normal one i guess...bt then fb became a place where i lived too, things change wen all those whom u know suddenly jump bk from anonymity to a click away.....nd i mean everyone here who logs in...luv you guys, its always a pleasure talking to you, m always excited to c notifications thinking kuch hua, kisi ne kuch bola, ten mnths dwn i can't imagine life cut-off from u guys...thanks everyone.

special mention of two nightouts n fb....

one when i almost wept, karan ne vaat lagai thi meri boht gazab ki, bridges needed a revamp, we sat down and spit hairs on everything, each of it which went wrong,,,,,,if there's one guy that shud b emulated that's this one, from hairdo to votes:D

another wen i chatted 8 hrs straight....got bk with sanky.....15 yrs man....love you brother...you made my year..

dheere dheere the oldies wre bk again.....kd, kar, yas, sank, rahul(one hell of a guy,sieved me out of 20 odd ppl in almost darkness), ajuu. besides, kuch chehre bhid ma khin gum they....zuckurberg ka dhanyawad, i know krish, abhi(pan n gupt both k),hina, manish, richa, subbu. 

getting into the grid got me in touch with dear old seniors too...luv ya lots..hemu bhai,bhakti bhaia, vaibhav bro,nikita dee n tushar n nish bros.

my life was complete....

bas aisa socha nai k panga hua....i have this tendency of getting on a desolate road too.....i think during my construction process, there was a power failure toh connection thik jude nai.....soon had a bitter skirmish with a girl,,,open pages hurt,,, m sorry sis, wherever you are, may god bless you, galtian ho jati hain! Poore saal ka ekmatra panga, not bad a record btw.

TRI-QUIPSTERS

buffooning everyone, PATHFINDERS arrived into sme aprilish atmosphere....for me...grad papers wre up so was bk to mc graws n pearsons. kahte hain, springs bring love but yaha toh door door tak aisa kuch bhi na tha....JITNI GINI-CHUNI LADKIAN THI BHI UNKI 'PAP' VO BAND BAJATA THA K ABHI BHI DARAVANE SAPNE ATE HONGE UNHE....frst batch of tests wre up n so wre the results.....english test= MY NAME IS DICTIONARY ma ek ladke ka naam top pe tha(m happy hadn't taken that test VARNA neeche kone ma kahin hota mera naam)...arey i forgot...pal too din tke the test..or shud i say none of the english ones at all...unintentionally fcos,, wanted to c who was better at the wrd skill- doc or pal....both pretty natural talents....net results kuch is prakar they k i thot now i m doing the right thing with my life...these wre the exaaaat wrds i'd written on a dated note....evolution confirmation theory ends. itna toh bore karna padega yar, u e reading about me so..kahi toh....c’est moi guys!

nevertheless nxt day there was a case study on "bcg matrix"....4 team bati...n as usual our team won, thnx to leo. later in the class, leo pointed out to a guy saying he is MR. DICTIONARY.....i said okk...a very regular teenager, wiry, slightly broad shoulders he was....n typical me, struck a conversation....thus was born DOCTOR-SAAB for me....kise pata tha k his gf wud want to kill me soon:D

nxt up is THE GREAT INDIAN CAN'TEENZ SHOW....break k baad!:)

BREAK:p